sometimes people pity themselves, only to think a moment later about whether it's 'right' to do so, with all those other people who must have it much worse. take frank, for example. he just made a cup of tea in a third litre drinking glass, because he thought there was no clean quarter litre tea cup left. now he has to drink the hot beverage out of a vessel with no handle and be very careful not to burn his fingers. viewed objectively, he has it much better than melinda, even though just before taking his first sip, he discovered two perfectly clean tea cups sitting on the shelf over the sink.

melinda just flushed her toilet with the tank's entire water reservoir, but the waste is still in the bowl. now she has to wait in that stinking room all the while it takes the tank to fill back up, before she can try again and help it along with the toilet brush.

but comparing frank's situation to hers is not very meaningful. if frank feels like the day cannot become any worse, like the pain cannot become any more intense, like he will drop dead any moment, then he really is doing that badly. of course there's nothing objectionable about feeling, every once in a while, sorry for the poor people who have to persevere in rooms smelling of their own excrements. but frank doesn't need to have a guilty conscience because of them. frank's serotonin and norepinephrine levels are just as low as melinda's and the sun doesn't shine any more for him than it does for her. he has every right to feel like the most unfortunate creature in the universe. do not tell him about the poor people who cannot even wipe their asses clean, because they have to hold a toilet brush in one hand and their nose with the other. that might make him feel guilty, but it won't help.