"my son is trapped inside the wrong body."

"how would you know? he's not even born yet."

"what i said."

mouse-flavoured cat food would be like cock-flavoured condoms.

today i woke up before my alarm clock went off. way earlier, as i was soon to find out. i had to go to the toilet, so i moaned and cumbersomely rolled out of the bed. by doing so, i discovered a muesli bar under my bed. it must have been there for months; it was a chinese one. i checked the use-by date. it was the current date, with a time: 03:07. i checked the alarm clock. it was 03:01. as if i had woken up so that i could consume that muesli bar just in time. now, i could interpret that as an omen, but i wouldn't know how.

i'm not writing an artist's statement. i'm a photographer, not a writer. the picture is the statement.

i watched it and my socks still are firmly attached.

if you want to forget how meaningless your life is, the activities that are best at distracting you are the most meaningless ones.

she obviously liked her new home much better than the animal shelter. when we got her, she was purring all the time. we named her puree.

the track listing looked oddly like a menu in a japanese restaurant to me. the titles were incomprehensible to me, to the degree of all looking the same, but i could tell them apart thanks to the numbers.