if you think that farewell poems recited to employees that have just been 'made redundant' are the most embarrassing thing, you haven't seen strip boxing yet.

what did it feel like? well, maybe you know this situation, when you came in from a short walk out in the cold, turned up the heating a bit, put water on the stove for some tea, and thought everything would be allright soon. then you sit down in your comfy chair, and realise that the cold has crept into your ass, and now you're sitting on it. that's what it felt like. i just had to sit it out.

rule 8 is composed of two parts. rule 8a says that "rules may be broken." rule 8b adds, "especially rule #8."

it's still one of the old style cooking shows. when the filming starts, all ingredients have already been labouriously prepared, cut to size and arranged in little bowls, ready to be thrown into the pan, while the cook explains how to buy ingredients of the most exquisite quality and which preparations have to be done the day before. the only modern addition is the assistant with the clipboard, who, after 20 minutes of throwing things into pots and pans and plenty chatter, announces how surprisingly quick and easy that dish is to make.

we still don't know whether it's possible to praise the translucent bricks too much.

dietary supplements are not to be used as a substitute for a varied, balanced diet. but what else are they good for?

"my son is trapped inside the wrong body."

"how would you know? he's not even born yet."

"what i said."

mouse-flavoured cat food would be like cock-flavoured condoms.