originally, søren had planned to write his dissertation about "The Concept of Irony, with Continual Reference to Sarcasm", but people continuously misinterpreted it.

she jilted him, because he was way too jealous. he asked where she had been and what she had done every time she was brought home by a drunken sailor early in the morning.

on average, a train is held up for three hours by a suicide, to which display panels refer as techincal difficulties.

things i never wanted to know about, but was told anyway for completely obscure reasons and will feature, among other things, the story of mike about how he found out that his penis tastes like a lemon. in his own mouth.

in his attic, Bertrand Russel labeled socks "left" and "right" for those who didn't label their socks on their own. Alonzo Church frowned upon this practice, but couldn't find a better method, which didn't prevent John McCarthy from creating a Labeling of socks programming language (Losp).

dancing to unconsciousness and animal sacrifices.

fifty-fifty?

no way. twenty-eighty.

thirty-seventy.

okay.

s/more optimal/better/